Born to Run-ism

26 06 2010

let us live so that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry (mark twain).





productivitah

23 06 2010

lining shit up and knocking it down (steve-ism)
kicking ass and taking names (amarie-ism)
eating the elephant one bite at a time (dennis-ism)





you’ve ruined every song

17 06 2010

(from my friend fulghum)

I used to listen to the radio
And sometimes I’d sing along
I thought the lyrics were just words
That helped the music move along
But ever since you left me
Ever since you did me wrong
I can’t listen anymore
You’ve ruined every song

Now every song is wrecked for me
Now every song sounds sad
They sing of love and tragedy
Just like the one we had
I can’t take much more of this
How long can it go on?
I can’t listen anymore
You’ve ruined every song

You’ve ruined single every song
That I have ever heard
I used to sing along
But now I understand the words

Led Zep, the Stones and Fleetwood Mac
I’d play them all the time
The Beatles, Elvis and the rest
Now just leave me crying
Everything was fine until
You left me in disgrace
I thought music was sublime until
It left tears on my face





oxford seminars suck

13 06 2010

according to Dave’s ESL cafe and other forums. canceling my august class today. researching a more reputable cert program. looks like CELTA and Trinity are tops. do we have these in NC..?

i thought visiting korea this summer would cement my resolve to move there. then i would be guilt- and doubt-free about my timeline for leaving f4k. that’s a racket.

the bottom line is, i want to learn korean. and i feel i need to live in korea to be fluent. beyond that turn, who knows? truth is, it’s going to be difficult to leave a job and people i love here regardless. an interim trip won’t make those conversations any easier. funny. it just occurred to me that the fear of leaving my job and making the wrong decision is analagous to leaving my husband and finding someone who will love me. TMI.

new plan–

  • get ESL cert in August, to apply skills at durham literacy center and focus on work and J-school in fall
  • tell team and board about my f4k transition. come up with a timeline. what needs to happen for f4k and for me personally before then?
  • visit Korea in December for places to live. pusan looks spectacular.

somewhere in there, take the summer off from being married, date a little, determine what to do about said marriage, house, etc.

life is short.





unc & cold turkey

7 06 2010

got in today to unc j-school’s technology & communication cert program. yay. now have the buyer’s remorse that bubbles up when i get what i want. wth is that? i do look forward to being a student again.

this puts korea visit on the calendar now–have some sense of urgency. can’t go in the fall. got to be august. one decision leads to another.

ought to try that in my personal life–say what i want and let life fill in around it. who knows, maybe i’d get it. what i want right now is time apart even though it’s scary.

*   *   *

The most drastic, and usually the most effective, remedy for fear is direct action. ~ William Burnham

I have accepted fear as a part of life – specifically the fear of change – I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. ~ Erica Jong